“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Suzy Kassem

“…imposter syndrome involves much more than just feeling fraudulent and that it presents itself in a long list of different ways. It may appear as insecurity, self-doubt, fear of failure and perfectionism. Or as self-criticism, low self-esteem, an inability to accept compliments or a focus on where you’re falling short.” – Dr Jessamy Hibberd

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Hi, I’m Christopher Ryan, a hybrid author with forty years of experience in journalism, education, sketch comedy, indie film, unions, community service, parenting, public speaking, acting, podcasting, but mostly writing fiction, poetry, and pop culture essays. Now I’m working to discover what more I can achieve and share with the world, and whether an older author can find a place in the storytelling business. Together, let’s see if I can get there.

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NEWSish Stuff

Upcoming live events

• StokerCon, Pittsburgh, PA, June 4-7

The latest episode of Tell The Damn Story deals with doubt

Co-host Alex Simmons and I deal with one of the most stubborn issues for creatives: impostor syndrome. Here’s the link:

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WIP Out to an Unique Readers Group

As it says above, I’m a hybrid author, but my track record for the past several years has leaned more toward indie. Maybe that’s a me problem; I have difficulty trusting the Big Machine, have an apparently unshakable disdain for the gatekeepers, how long it takes, etc. Probably, it can be explained by noting that I have over 40 professional years of overwhelmingly independent experience as an award-winning weekly journalist, founding member/head writer of Salsoul Comedy Troupe, contributing producer and best supporting actor-nominated in a few indie films, and teacher largely left to my own dedication in the classroom. For my whole life I learned it, got good at it, and then did it.

But as the legendary Joe R. Lansdale once told me “getting someone else to invest money in your writing changes how it is seen.” I want to be viewed in that way.

As a result, my latest novel, a YA adventure tinged with sci-fi, mystery, and lots of heart, is going out to market. And I admit that is daunting.

But I am blessed with some help.

A book club populated by publishing professionals, some veterans, some retired, have agreed to read my manuscript. Hooray. With a catch. Uh-oh. They require I attend a post-reading meeting with them for feedback. Gulp.

Am I excited. Yes. Am I nervous about the feedback. Yes. And no. I know the ideas, characters, and intentions are solid. Any rewrite feedback can only make it better.

Still, fingers crossed.

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The Struggle is Real – Writing This in Yet Another Bout of Impostor Syndrome

Anything can trigger impostor syndrome: awards season, large traditionally-leaning book or writers conventions, good news for contemporaries, and most importantly, finishing a writing project.

All of those are hitting me right now.

The Horror Writers Association’s Stoker Awards nominees came out recently and It’s Been a Privilege, my most often complimented horror books (this one all poetry), a work a surprising number of friends and colleagues mentioned in the same sentence with the legendary awards, didn’t make the final nominations list. Honestly, I don’t even know whether it was even considered.

Second, the Horror Writers Association Convention is coming up in June, an experience that quietly fills me with dread and impostor syndrome to the gills.

Third, several of my colleagues signed impressive publishing deals or came out with cool new books. I applaud them for it, but I simultaneously hear that horrible inner voice silently screaming “And you? What the hell are you doing? Nothing!”

Third again, an email/newsletter from a kind and very supportive established author arrived this morning about his latest project, re-energizing that damned inner voice.

And of course, I’ve finished a major project. That is when impostor syndrome hits hardest for me. Every doubt conceivable haunts me, insisting the work sucks, that I shouldn’t be allowed near laptop keyboards, publishing, or storytelling of any kind. At this very second, it is screaming in my head that I shouldn’t be writing this, that no one will read it, that no one cares what I have to say.

It is exhausting. Debilitating. Depressing. A horror unto itself.

Yet, here I am, still writing.

I’ll take that sliver of hope.

If impostor syndrome hits you, keep writing. Hopefully, next week I’ll be in a better head space and will be able to give you more advice.

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Why Bob and Grace Won’t Appear Here for the Foreseeable Future/The AI Nightmare

The above affliction isn’t the only horror haunting writers these days. Technology has added a new nightmare: AI.

Publishing is being flooded with opportunistic hacks publishing AI written books, AI-assisted books, or those alleged to be written by an author but showing overwhelming amounts of AI pattern errors.

AI absorbing traditionally written books to teach itself how to write, and the resulting lawsuits are also creating problems in the industry.

AI has created such turmoil in publishing that we now have almost a red scare going on wherein people are running other authors’ books through AI assessment tech which are reportedly only 78 % accurate (below the standard of accuracy required to be considered reliable in court), and using the results to cast doubt on the legitimacy of authors and publishers.

It happened recently to Mia Ballard who denies using AI to write her novel Shy Girl after exactly such accusations were made, moving Hachette Book Group to cancel its publications (for more, here’s a link to an updated report from The New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/19/books/shy-girl-book-ai.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share

But this isn’t the only AI-related issue that scares me.

Recently, I received an email from a colleague I respect immensely. To my shock and horror, the pleasantly worded email reported that this author felt strongly that they might need to end our professional relationship because they perceived that I was pro-AI.

What? Me?

I am on record as extremely distrusting of AI in at least two (probably more) episodes of the Tell The Damn Story podcast. Additionally, I paid for a new cover for Soul Scream: Come All Ye Faithless once I realized the cover was AI-generated. Worse, I did my due diligence with writers associations, investigating their stance on using AI for marketing purposes, was told they do not see a problem with that usage, and yet I still cancelled Zeely, a marketing tool that uses AI to generate still and video promotions of books, because the author of the email was uncomfortable with the AI aspects of the promotion. So I took the financial loss, never used the ad, and cancelled my subscription to Zeely because I agreed with their discomfort. I was uncomfortable with it, too.

And then came the email. I couldn’t figure out why. So I asked. Apparently, Alex, my TTDS partner, used an AI generated image of me to created an ad for a book project I have coming up.

I was guilty by association.

I contacted Alex and explained the situation, then sent photos of myself imitating the illustration which Alex used to replace the promotion. I offer both here for illustration purposes only:

Why did I insist on the change? Fear.

Fear that AI would ruin my reputation without any merit. Fear that it was already clawing at professional friendships I held dear. Fear that all my hard work would be torn apart on unfounded, inaccurate, and wrong allegations.

Fear of being labelled an impostor.

It is so scary that Bob and Grace, a comic-like feature that is visually created using ChatGPT won’t be featured anymore because, as much as I love their banter, the fear of being labelled an AI hack ruins the joy they give me.

All this feels just like the red scare.

And it is only going to get worse. AI is everywhere. Try writing an email. AI offers to write it for you. Same with trying to do layout, or almost anything creative.

The monster is in the house. And I don’t know if we can escape.

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What We Need Now is Picture of a Handsome Fella

This week’s newsletter has been a bit depressing. To raise our spirits, here’s a pic of Sonny trying to keep Glorious from leaving for work.

And one of him doing his job as Chief of Security as I wait to be connected for a business Zoom.

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Pop Culture Fuel is the Same as Last Week And this is running long and I am too down to share this week. My apologies.

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“A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.” – Richard Bach

“Creativity takes courage.” – Henri Matisse

“Creativity doesn’t have to be taught, it has to be liberated.” – John Cleese

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All right, thanks for stopping by. Talk atcha next week.