What bothers me most about Kim Kardashian and her 72 days of marriage is that she believes she tried. Recently, she and her family were on a Barbara Walters special and it was like she had survived some significant ordeal.
Sorry Kim, you never even got out of the gate.
I just celebrated 25 years of marriage. I believe in commitment. Sure, comedians joke about the trap of marriage, that it is a life sentence, but the committed married folk know the truth; yes, marriage is work but it is worth reward.
Pop culture knuckleheads like the Kardashians should not be allowed to damage to that subtle truth, and the public backlash against her should remind Kim that she is more fad than institution; marriage will outlast her easily.
What lingers for me is Kim thinks she tried so hard. Maybe that suggests she just doesn’t know any better. Maybe the bar has been set so low for her regarding interpersonal relationships that 72 days did seem like a lifetime. But it is not. And those of us who have committed, who have been delighted by long nights of passion and have also worked through arguments and tension and coped with differences, we know what it really takes to grow to be better people together.
That’s where Kim made her mistake. She thought she knew what marriage is, but very publicly demonstrated that she didn’t have a clue. We married folk, those of us who have put in the time to make it work, we know the risks, we know the challenges, we know the difficulties, and we know the rewards. Most of all, we know Kim never got anywhere close to the knowledge we have, the truth we live by every day: marriage is love and lust and tensions and fighting, but not fighting against each other, fighting to forge a greater bond that is bigger than either side alone.
Seeing Kim would slight that effort, sneer at that hard-fought, well-earned bond is insulting. Sure she may have gotten a ratings boost after her “72 dat ordeal” but we married folk know she is misusing the concept of marriage. Like a child’s view of Christmas, she seems to think getting married is all attention and dress up and presents. That is such a dim view. And we can forgive her intellectual limitations on most aspects of her entertaining but ultimately ridiculous life. What we can’t forgive is disrespecting the area of our life that we hold so dear. Those of us who did the work, who grew together through sacrifice and love and communication and respect, who made a real effort to hold onto something sacred in an increasingly silly and diminished culture, we know her efforts at marriage were fake, her understanding of marriage was wrong, and her respect for the best part of our lives was appalling.
And we won’t forget.