Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.

– William Shakespeare

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Hi, I’m Christopher Ryan, a hybrid author with forty years of experience in journalism, education, sketch comedy, indie film, unions, community service, parenting, public speaking, acting, podcasting, but most often writing fiction, poetry, and pop culture essays. Now I’m working to discover what more I can achieve and share with the world, and whether an older author can find a place in the storytelling business. Together, let’s see if I can get there.

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NEWSish Stuff

Upcoming live events

• StokerCon, Pittsburgh, PA, June 4-7

• Thrills and Chills Book Fair, Middletown, NY, July 12, 2026

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This week’s Tell The Damn Story dives deep into writing process with Teel James Glenn.

A great, informative episode for writers at all levels. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Here’s the link:

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ON WRITING: Imposter Syndrome can be a true monster; here’s how to beat it, hopefully

Tomorrow morning, I’m supposed to get in my car and drive about six-and-a-half hours to Pittsburgh for StokerCon, the Horror Writers Association’s annual convention and awards show.

I plan on doing that.

I expect to go.

But, brothers and sisters, it has been a battle. A complex, multi-faceted mental and emotional war that has exposed to me all my fury, doubts, fears, and aspects of self-loathing I was gifted by a parent way back when I was just a wee lad.

It has been a dark period, and I’ll admit here and now that I’ve been a burden to my incredible wife Glorious, my brother-from-another-mother and podcast partner Alex Simmons, and, I’m sure, too many others.

Why?

The answers offer some insight into how impostor syndrome works, and maybe, just maybe, some ways we can all deal with it when it comes for us.

1. My work sucks. I should sell shoes. Most creatives experience some version of this impostor syndrome trope. Uncontested, it can eat away at a creative’s confidence, and output. Solution: Most times asking this interior voice to list specifically what sucks, in detail, will defeat it because this is really fear of rejection, and everybody gets their work rejected. Creatives are like baseball players; hit 3 out of 10 attempts and we’re in the hall of fame.
2. Actual rejection. This stings, always. Even perennial bestselling authors know to stay away from reviews or online commentary because just one negative comment in a dozen can haunt. Sure, the math doesn’t add up, but when it comes to creative self-doubt, math simply doesn’t apply. Worse, when a particularly well-regarded work, even if only by an inner circle, that a creative holds dear, can become an atom bomb when it gets rejected by peers. I’ll admit I am struggling with this right now. It’s Been a Privilege, my horror tale told in verse, didn’t even get long-listed as a possible nomination for a Stoker in poetry. That hurt. And it opened the floodgates: It didn’t get nominated because you suck, it sucks, your whole family line back to Irish cavemen suck, you incompetently handled the nominating process, nobody respects you, you belong under a rock, a large rock, okay a boulder, nah, under Mt. Everest-that would be doing humanity a service… See? It can get out of hand very quickly. The cure here is (well, some reading this might say years of therapy, but) to consciously acknowledge that I can name a list of people who did enjoy the work, I believe in the work, and the judges were under no obligation to see my work as we do. Panels assessing work look for all sorts of things, and I write closer to Bukowski (kinda, sort of, sans the alcoholism, sexism, and crudeness) that many of the poets being honored with nominations. The only aspect of all this to be true to myself. Same goes for all creatives.
3. I’m too old, too bald, too fat, too nerdy to go. This is silly self-doubt. There will be many people there older, or balder, or fatter, or nerdier than me. We can all calm ourselves about such self-loathing with the knowledge that, statistically, we are, at best, probably somewhere in the middle of the pack of all these attributes. To quote the great philosopher Bill Murray, “It just doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter…”
4. Hell with these people. I’m better than them!” Here my super-ego steps in. “As your psychiatrist, I must prescribe these chill pills, and a large dose of get over yourself and your ego’s self-defensiveness.” And SE is correct. I’m not better or worse than anybody. I’m just me, doing what I do to the best of my abilities. Nothing else matters. We can all benefit from seeing ourselves and our work from that point of view.
5. I’m not going! Why not? Who does that help or hurt? Nobody. What does that gain me? Nothing. And what does going despite all the doubts get me? Most probably a dissolution of the doubts. Most probably, some interesting panels. Most probably, a few laughs or some cool chatter with friends and colleagues.

We can’t cut ourselves off from experiences and opportunities. brothers and sisters. Even if nothing comes from it, we will prove to ourselves that we can face our fears, shut down our self-doubt and move forward.

Special thanks to The Glorious One, for all her patience and support, and my brother-from-another-mother Alex for the same, and the writers group for key words at the exact right time.

This was an especially trying bout of impostor syndrome. And I’ll probably reread this a few times to make sure I get out the door, into the car, and on the road tomorrow. I hope this helps anyone with similar struggles work through their bouts as well.

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And now a pic of a handsome fella

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And three cheers for well-deserved praise

My son Sean was named Coach of the Year, and honestly, I can’t think of anyone more deserving. I’ve seen the binders of plans and exercises and strategies he puts together in the off-season, the meetings with his coaching staff, the dedication to putting the roster together, coaching the players to be their best, play the game with both grit and dignity, stay focused on game-by-game goals and the bigger picture, and to always put family and education before playing. He’ll always be my Coach of the Year.

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New head shot celebrates more face and less white, white, white hair

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Every once in a while, we accidentally capture magic

When a neighbor comes a’calling

The other day, I happened to see this squirrel considering this faerie door and windows, and multi-colored pebbles leading up to them. It seems like he either just knocked or is considering doing so. I had to take and share this pic.

What you can barely see are those colored pebbles. They were purchased from an ad offering much bigger glow-in-the-dark discs to decorate a human-sized front garden, etc. The actual product was ludicrously smaller.

I had purchased them as a nice surprise for Glorious as she came home from work. When I saw how small they really were, it became a challenge. This was my solution. She loved it, and apparently, local animal neighbors are intrigued. Win-Win.

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Pop Culture Fuel

Books –

I wanted to love the new oral history by Paul McCartney about his band called Wings, a group I loved for several albums (until Speed of Sound ruined it for me, and some many other fans). However, this oral history seems to include everything everyone even remotely connected to Wings ever said about any aspect of the band and their work. It is repetitive to the point of torture and easily could have been 200 pages shorter. I am so disappointed. Hopefully, the documentary of Prime of Paramount+ will be better.

Oh well, I still have the albums.

TV –

We’re still binging our way through Daredevil and related materials. Netflix’s third season was dark and Matt Murdock unlikeable for most of the season, but he comes around big time.

We finally saw an Indiana Fever game I am intrigued by Caitlin Clark as she reminds me of one of my all-time basketball heroes, Pistol Pete Maravich. Looks like she’s getting the kind of treatment he did when he got to the NBA. This is a dumbfounding mistake and waste of talent. Let her cook.

Looking forward to the Knicks in the finals. I’m admittedly a fair-weather fan, but it is good to see them go this far and their fast-paced, clear-headed and confident style of play is a treat to watch.

Music –

Still all over the place. Developing a playlist called “fun” and once it is set I’ll share.

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Doubt is a thief that often makes us fear to tread where we might have won.

-William Shakespeare

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Awright, thanks for stopping by. Talk atcha next week.