On Pop Culture: Who Warner Bros. Should Really Get to Direct Justice League

Posted on August 10, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

Warner Brothers came soooooooo close to solving their comic book movie credibility problem. And they still have a chance to get it right, with one phone call.

This week Marvel announced Joss Whedon would be writing and directing Avengers II and developing a television series about Marvel characters leading up to that film. Geeks across the globe squealed in delight.

In a move that seemed by many to be timed to deflect attention away from the Whedon announcement, Warner Brothers, which owns DC Comics, was reported as wanting Ben Affleck to direct their Justice League film.

It has been reported already that Affleck has already or is going to pass.

This Affleck flirtation actually sets up an intriguing opportunity for Warner Brothers to select the one man who might actually be able to compete with for pop culture coolness:

…wait for it ….

Kevin Smith.

Hey, stop laughing.

Seriously, think about what Kevin Smith could bring to the DC movie franchise table:

1) popularity with a huge portion of the summer blockbuster demographic,

2) experience as a big budget director (okay, some experience),

3) a sense of humor (I love Christopher Nolan, but humor wasn’t big on his agenda),

And most importantly,

4) a lifetime love and encyclopedic knowledge of comics and why they work.

Some will say Smith has no experience with huge budget films. I love Joss Whedon, but until The Avengers neither did he. Yes, Whedon had action experience from his years on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly/em>, Serenity, and Dollhouse, but none of them had a budget anywhere near The Avengers. Whedon, adapted, worked his ass off, and proved to Hollywood what his cult of worshippers already knew.

Smith has a similar, but not identical history. Sure, he doesn’t have years of action directing like Whedon, but he does have over 20 years of cult following for popular, enduring films that continue to find new followers, especially with the college crowd.

Jay and Silent Bob are iconic characters that have flourished in film, comics, and on the college circuit.

Looking for other reason to take Smith seriously? His “Secret Stash” comic book stores tie him in more closely to the comic community, as does his cable show and podcast Comic Book Men.

Again like Whedon, he also has deep roots in the comic book industry via his career as a very popular comic book writer, including successful runs on both Marvel and DC titles. Add to this practical experience working on comic and/or action flicks including Daredevil, Live Free or Die Hard, and Cop Out in addition to his own directing career, and Smith’s resume shows him as having much to offer.

Some will say Kevin Smith was criticized for Cop Out because he reportedly smoked too much pot on that project. For this, Smith wouldn’t just give up pot, he’d give up food, water, and air. Why? Because Kevin Smith knows what an opportunity this would be. Better still, he’s dreamed it his whole life. He knows how special these films can be.

With the very notable exception of Nolan’s classic Batman trilogy, what DC project was ever both very successful and taken seriously? None. Why? Because the execs at Warner Brothers have never really “gotten” comics. They are sitting on a gold mine they never demonstrated they understand, have spent 70-something years looking down on, and have no clue how to approach.

Kevin Smith does.

Let me type that again.

Kevin. Smith. Does.

Ever read a bootleg of his Superman Lives script? Perfect calling card for this argument, because Smith nails the characters, the action, the DC world. Look it up.

Warner Brothers shouldn’t just offer Kevin Smith Justice League, they should make him a key member of DC Films (okay, first They should form and finance a Warner Brothers subsidiary called DC Films, then hire Smith to run it). Ask him to put a team together that “got” DC Comics, DC heroes, and could actually make cool pop culture films. Include DC’s top writer Geoff Johns, and the animated series guys, including Paul Dini and Bruce Timm. That team, much like the Marvel Films creative development team that includes Brian Michael Bendis, Joe Quesada, etc., would create projects to rival Marvel’s output.

If Warner Brothers did this, every one would luxuriate in a win-win situation; cool Marvel films and cool DC films! Some of us would get second jobs to afford multiple viewings of all the classic films that would pour forth as Smith’s team tried to out cool Whedon’s team and vice versa.

It would be geek nirvana.

Only problem is, Warner Brothers doesn’t get it. They will look at Smith’s financial track record, forget he was mostly an independent filmmaker without huge blockbuster budgets, and they’ll sneer, or they will look at Cop Out, and forget that wasn’t Smith’s script, and he didn’t have free reign to really go for it from the starting line, and they’ll sneer.

Warner Brothers will sneer like they sneered at Whedon’s script for Wonder Woman (and look how well that worked out for them), and they won’t give an intriguing choice a chance.

Unless, a lot of us make a lot of noise…..

Comments, anyone?

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

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How to Tell If The Spouse Loves You

Posted on August 8, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

The marriage arena is a dangerous subject to write about, I know. Big risk of ticking someone off no matter what I do. Lean too much toward the husbands, the wives will charge gender bias; too much toward the wives, the guys will call me soft.

So today, I have a little for everybody. Color me a naive romantic, but in my experience, most couples are doing okay. Is every relationship perfect? That’s an insane expectation derived from night time soaps and drunken, bitterly alone friends. No one has the perfect relationship. So let’s dial it back a little, to somewhere closer to reality.

Here’s how to tell if your spouse loves you.

Guys, you know your wife loves you if:

1) You wake up in the morning, period.

(Men are so annoying in general, it is amazing we are not slaughtered in our sleep as a rule. So, if you wake up tomorrow, and you’re not dead, score!)

2) You have ever made it through any sporting event, at all, post-nuptials.

(Yes, there are other important things going on in the world, including her mother, but if it is tie score in the bottom of the ninth, and she just lets you be, remain in quiet awe for days.)

3) You don’t have to answer plot questions during the 47th viewing of Die Hard.

(Guys, if she knows who John McClane is, and gets him, love her forever.)

4) If you have NEVER been asked to hold her pocketbook.

(Retention of manhood is important. If she recognizes that, it should inspire you to worship her.)

And that’s it. Men, what more do we really want? Seriously.

Ladies, you know your husband loves you if:

1) He’s still there in the morning, period.

(Men flee. Sure, we are supposedly brave at all times, but at a certain point — when the T Rex shows up in Jurassic Park, when the apes go hunting on their planet, when the British pursues Washington throughout most of the northeast colonies, when your mother moves in — that even the most brave and loyal of us will turn tail. So if you wake up in the morning and he’s still there, score! … Kind of.)

2) He sits through even one chick flick.

(Look, even Superman can’t spend the evening wearing Kryptonite. Everyone has their limitations. If he overcomes his for even one night, hold onto that man!)

3) He acts sort of like an adult when you get him to go shopping with you.

(This should be attempted carefully, based entirely upon how much he whines and cries and feigns a ruptured spleen the first time you ask him. But if he does go with you, and acts at least 16 years old, he deserves your love.)

4) If you have NEVER been asked to have sex somewhere stupid.

(Wait, all of us have already screwed this up, haven’t we? Damn, women ALWAYS get the short end of the stick! And any men who think that was a stinging pun, well if the stump fits….)

4, second attempt) If your man ever tries to make the bed, vacuum, or do the shopping to surprise you.

(Yes, the bed will look terrible, the vacuuming will be half-done, the shopping will be mostly pretzels, beer, cereal, and steak, but any attempt to help shows promise. Just think, after years of tutoring and patience, you might only have to redo half of it.)

Moral of the Blog:

So, if your spouse has achieved any of these, relax in the knowledge that you are loved, and as imperfect as s/he may be, the essence of that spouse is sincere and worth keeping around.

I truly hope this has reduced each gender’s urge to commit domestic murder around the globe.

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

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On Writing: Why Smartphones Are A Writer’s New Best Friend

Posted on August 2, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

I used to plan out and gather ideas for novels and screenplays on index cards. Great system. One idea per card. The lined side was for the idea, be it bits of dialogue, character, setting, or whatever else came to mind. The other side was notes or comments. I consistently walked around with three pens (lest one run dry) and a stack of index cards in my pocket. Family members used to tease me about it, and everybody turned to me when they needed to write anything down. These index cards were my creative lifeline, and I even paid tribute to them in my first novel, City of Woe.

When I had a stack, I would spread them on the largest floor surface in my home, and like a puzzle, switch the order of the cards around until the story took shape. Then I would start typing them into a computer file, and subsequently, each idea would be expanded into character moments, dialogue, scenes, or chapters, until i had a draft of my novel or screenplay.

Great method, and I don’t miss it at all. I no longer use pens or index cards. Now all the ideas for my writing go into my smartphone, no muss, no fuss, no squishing or losing or smudging of ideas. Every once in a while I email a bunch to myself and save it to a file, then play puzzle onscreen, cutting and pasting the deals into a usable order like I did with the cards on the rug. One extra benefit is the ideas are now already in a format I can readily edit and manipulate. This saves the step of retyping, and draws less stares than whipping out a stack of cards and writing notes in public.

The best thing about this method is that most of you already have the notepad or notes app on your phones. Nothing new to purchase, no new program to learn, just tap it open and start getting your ideas down in a usable form.

Try it, and as long as you email a copy to yourself every once I awhile, you won’t lose anything and will be a crucial step closer to writing your dream.

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

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The Dark Knight Rises: Huge Plots Hole or Sharp Political Commentary?

Posted on August 1, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

Christopher Nolan’s superb The Dark Knight Rises has been simmering in my brain since watching the trilogy on July 19 and experiencing the final film at midnight, unaware of the tragedy unfolding in Aurora, Colorado. I have held back the following thoughts out of respect for the victims of that sad madman, but they persist, in part because one intriguing problem in the film was echoed in that event.

There seems to be a huge plot hole in the film. (SPOILER ALERT: don’t read any further is you are one of the 17 people who still haven’t seen the film) The problem emerges as we watch a significant number of the citizens of Gotham revolt, seemingly joining and/or following Bane’s call to “take back Gotham” from the rich and corrupt and greedy and powerful. Okay, in today’s economy, in the politically fractured atmospheres in many countries, we can recognize a rising desire to see some sort of revolutionary justice take hold.

However, the plot hole exists because Gotham’s citizens do this after witnessing Bane blowing up their beloved Gotham Bandits football team, field, opponents and all. Worse, they embrace Bane’s message after witnessing him snapping the neck of the one man who identifies himself as being able to dismantle a nuclear weapon ticking towards detonation.

A reasonable thinker must recognize that no right-thinking society would ever follow such madness, and so … huge plot hole. How could Nolan make such a disastrous mistake? How could a genius filmmaker miss this gigantic flaw in logic, this monstrous lack of common sense?

Because it is all around us.

Let’s just use American society as an example. Look at Facebook, where every day, that’s right every day people we are friends with post outrageous exaggerations or downright lies about the President of the United States and his political opponent. According to posts by supposedly sane people, President Obama is a do nothing, greedy, wasteful, lying, corrupt, terroristic illegal alien who lies about his true religion, and his opponent Mitt Romney is a spoiled, incompetent, stupefyingly ignorant robot who sends American jobs abroad, hides billions in offshore accounts, ripped off his own fortune, and plans to do the same to this country. Are these the arguments of a rational populace? If any of this was actually true, what kind of a society would seriously consider such villains as viable candidates?

Worse, we accept outrageous behavior from our elected officials on both sides of the aisle, abide by a journalistic climate where “the truth” is sculpted by corporate policy, embrace an advertising climate that urges us to eat and drink to excess until we damage our health, at which point we consume copious amounts of drugs to at least cosmetically address the problem, spend more than we can afford, drive vehicles much bigger than we need that guzzle a resource which is quickly running out, adding to a poisoning of the air we breathe and blowing holes in the atmosphere that protects us from bursting into flames … all while allegedly intelligent leaders of our country actively deny any of this is actually happening.

Additionally, we live in a society where a sizable portion of our allegedly right-thinking people insist that we have an inalienable right to own assault weapons, even after catastrophes like the Aurora tragedy. And millions of dollars of lobbying money will be spent in the coming weeks to get politicians to publicly agree with this madness.

In a very real way, we are the citizens of Gotham following Bane after he has committed mass murder and doomed us all.

Plot hole or sharp social/political commentary? What do you say?

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

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On Writing: The Odd Exhilaration of Seeing Your Book on Sale

Posted on July 30, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

There is one thing I feel obligated to share with all writers and every potential self-publisher, independent publisher, ebook publisher, and old-fashioned print publisher: the rush of finally seeing your book for sale makes all the work and worry worth it.

We all share the dream of being published. We all want our hard work to pay off, our vision to be offered to the world. But, alas, when we are in the depths of the writing, that rush is impossible to experience. While we are wrestling with the addicting nature of commas and adverbs and endless description, we can’t, and shouldn’t, bask in the moment of birth, when our book finally emerges onto the market.

Here’s what I offer you today: a glimpse of the finish line. Or I should say, finish lines (there are a few). You are encouraged to print this out and post it near where you write, so that when you lose energy and want to get up for a cuppa or a beer or to walk the dog, feed the cat, stretch, flee, or anything else that will delay you from finishing, you can glance over and be reminded of what you are working to accomplish.

Here goes:

1) After all the writing, proof reading, editing, and rewriting, one day you will be done. You will know it, and the glow of accomplishment will spread through you like you just reached the promised land.

2) Following a period of formatting, including designing a cover, you will load up your novel to Kindle, or Nook, or iBook, or all of the above and more, and after varying degrees of paperwork and frustration, your book will be put “in review” which is a lot like experiencing yourself or your very pregnant significant other being wheeled into a delivery room. You will realize your book is out of your hands and on its way to the world. The feeling is as thrilling as it is daunting.

3) Soon that review will end, and your novel or nonfiction work will go “live” to the public. Take a deep breath and go to the ebook store and you will see your work offered to the world. You will search for it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble, or iBook, etc., typing in your name or the title, and all at once you will see it (and you) among the pantheon of literature, genre, history, and pop culture. Go ahead, search Shakespeare, Langston Hughes, H.P. Lovecraft, J.K. Rowling, Hunter S. Thompson; they are all there. And now, so are you.

4) Next, do what so many independent publishers do; buy your own book to make sure it actually works. In a few short minutes, you will look at your work now downloaded onto your Kindle, Nook, iBook, Sony eReader, etc. and you will know, after all the diligence and dreaming, all the wrestling and wondering, that you are, in fact and indisputably, a published author.

5) Either subsequently or simultaneously (trust me, do this at the same time you are processing your ebook publications), you may be working with createspace.com or fastpencil.com to format a print on demand version of your novel. Somewhere around the middle of this process, you will receive a proof copy of your book. Take your time opening that package, making sure to be seated, because inside is your dream made flesh. Younger writers may only need the ebook experience, but most of us still live with the concept of a book as paper and ink. And when that beautifully bound organization of pages is in your hands, with your name smiling up at you like a breathtaking newborn, life changes irrevocably.

And you will never be the same.

Are there edits and adjustments throughout these processes? Yes, but they are just feedings and diaper changes. You will know in your heart and deep in your soul that you have done something that very few people in the world actually do. You finished the journey. You gave a new work to the world. You contributed to the global discussion. You participated in a way most others on this planet cannot.

Congratulations. Enjoy the glow, you earned it.

Making the world take notice of your baby, that’s a discussion for another day…

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

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On Writing: Selfpublishing Roadmap a Must for Serious Indy Authors

Posted on July 27, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

Writers! The world is ours!

Well, almost.

Honestly, there has never been a better time to consider independently publishing your book, be it fiction or non-fiction. Digital book sales increase every quarter. Ebook outlets expand and improve continuously. Perhaps most importantly, the taint of self-publishing as vanity press is evaporating like a powerless ghost from the past.

In fact, only two barriers remain between an author and success: doing the hard work that is required to create a work of quality and integrity, and the knowledge of what to do next. While there is no shortcut through the first one, there is a very clear and valuable roadmap to make the second extremely achievable. A self-publishing Roadmap, in fact.

Joel Friedlander, who hosts http://www.thebookdesigner.com, has created a soup-to-nuts online course appropriately entitled The Self-publisher’s Roadmap. This course offers six weeks of video instruction that is well-organized into relevant units absolutely full of support materials including articles, PDFs, links, resources, lists of contacts, interviews with key professionals, and questionnaires to guide a writer’s decision making.

It is rare that I endorse a product this freely, but I was lost as to how I would get a novel I very much believe in to potential readers, and Friedlander’s course clarified so many steps and decisions and elaborated on so many opportunities that the least I can do is share the wealth.

Go, check out http://www.selfpublishingroadmap.com, find out what’s offered, and then invest in yourself.

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

 

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Penn State Sanctions Create A Great Day for America

Posted on July 23, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

When we stop and think about it for a while, today’s NCAA sanctions against Penn State mark a great day for America. The NCAA’s stunning and comprehensive sanctions are well thought out, multi-faceted, and deliberately severe; they truly have an impact on college sports, college life, national social and moral codes of behavior, and reflect what we so often say we believe in but fall short of putting into practice.

A sports radio personality argued immediately after the announcement that most of the sanctions “do nothing for the victims.” Not true at all. These sanctions will have an immediate and lasting national impact on all sports programs (not just football), on every level (from peewee to, potentially, professional) because no program will tolerate a pedophile because the downside is officially too severe. Think about the number of victimizations that will be prevented because anyone with even the whiff of pedophile will be run out of sports, throughout our country. That is astounding, visionary, and heroic.

Lastly, Penn State, by immediately accepting these sanctions, has gone from villain to potential hero by being mature, pro-active, and responsible about this. The school has a very real opportunity here to become leaders in the maturing of America because they did what we so rarely do in this country; once the truth hit, they assessed their shortcomings and took decisive action to correct their deficiencies. In a time when we as a nation are quick to dodge responsibilities, greedily insulate from blame, and scapegoat others in politics, business, sports, marriage, religion, and in so many other areas of our culture, here we have adults maturely accepting devastating penalties and corrective actions to “take a significant step forward.” That is immensely helpful, to the victims (these actions confirm that what was done to them was, in fact, wrong), potential future victims (saving others from suffering like these victims did), and to all of us as a nation that is too often in denial (role modeling how to act responsibly).

Bravo on all levels.

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe. For more information, click here.

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Pop Culture – The Dark Night Rises: is it Action Movie or Social Treatise?

Posted on July 21, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

The Dark Knight has Risen! Blessed be the reborn hero!

In so many ways, and taking great pains to not commit the Sin of Spoiling, The Dark Knight Rises is about redemption and sacrifice and rebirth. It is about offering up everything one has for his/her beliefs, and living outward not inward.

But it is not a religious film; it is political. Christopher Nolan has used his considerable skills to create the ultimate hybrid; the thoughtful blockbuster, the super-hero societal essay, the reflective popcorn movie. Amid the breathtaking set pieces, the thrilling weapons and Batcycles and Batplanes, the exceptional fight sequences, is Nolan calling for social revolution? Is this gifted director suggesting we can no longer support the authority, that they’ve grown too corrupt and greedy to exist? It is possible to view the film in this way.

And if we do, what does Christian Bale’s performance represent? Yes, his story arc follows the classic Heroe’s Journey structure. We see him physically broken and rebuilt, spiritually renewed, and even emotionally released, but as what? Super-hero or social liberator? Rescuer or revolutionary?

If the classic American hero faces the villains alone at high noon in the center of town, and if the modern equivalent is the dark avenger of the night, then The Dark Knight Rises presents us with a new paradigm to consider: hero as Savior and Unifier of American Society.

And that is something worth considering between handfuls of popcorn…

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

 

 

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On Writing: Is There an Author/Reader Pact?

Posted on July 18, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

Do authors owe readers anything at all? And does that debt grow the further into a story readers get?

I ask because I believe there is a grave difference between surprising or challenging a reader for entertainment and betraying that reader’s trust.

An author asks for a reader’s attention, yes? And that same author earns readers’ attention by making certain promises; to entertain, to thrill, to intellectually challenge; to provoke thought, emotions, moral reflection; to scare, etc. Once the reader accepts the author’s offer, a pact is created: an author will provide a certain kind of entertainment aimed at eliciting certain responses, and in return, readers will continue to read.

What happens when an author violates that pact?

After considerable time trying to shake THE WALKING DEAD issue #100, I am amazed at how thoroughly betrayed I feel. Not entertained. Not thrilled, spooked, scared, horrified, or any other sensation. I believe the comic book’s creative team was disloyal to its readers, and may have damaged THE WALKING DEAD experience significantly, perhaps irreparably.

I understand that one of the rules of this book’s world is “no one is safe.” I have lived with that, even when continuing was difficult (the Governor’s serial raping of Michonne was nearly impossible to get beyond; I actually stopped reading for more than a year, until a friend wore me down saying the book “got better”). I also understand that another of the rules of this series is “this group of people is worth watching.” If this group was not worthy of our attention, was not somehow more worthy of following than any other group, then the book would have been a non-linear series of stories moving from group to group, and would not have made it to issue #100.

The reason a book is successful comes down to character. Character is story and story is character. Everything of value in storytelling must emerge from character. Plot comes from character. Suspense, horror, humor, love, all of it comes from character. And the agreement between author and reader is “these characters are worthwhile, they have something to say to you.”

The Walking Dead team entered into this pact with readers, especially in regards to characters they kept in front of readers for almost 100 issues. Why would an author ask readers to invest in a character for almost 100 issues if that character had nothing to say? That is why we keep reading because we have been promised these characters “have something to say.”

In issue #100, the WD team seemed to suddenly, violently, declare, “No, they do not.”

From very early on in the series, the WD team wrote and drew and inked and lettered the character Glenn in such a way as to evoke a sympathetic response in readers. Glenn meant something to the creators; it is clear from how they allowed him to exist. Glenn was the hope left in that world. And in issue #100, the WD team utterly decimated that hope. He was violated with such lack of respect, such cheap thrills, such utter dismissal of his value as to alter how this world is perceived by readers from this point forward.

And it is easy to understand that the WD team meant to change the way we perceive this world. And they succeeded. But here’s the problem; the change violated the pact. We were promised these people were worth watching, that they were different than the rest of this world of victims, and therein was the promise of hope.

Now, unfortunately, there’s no more hope, no more reason to “watch this group” above any other. There will never again be that sliver of hope that some semblance of worthwhile existence can be achieved, and if there is no hope that life is worth living, where is the entertainment value?

We read horror for catharsis, release. Now those elements have been removed. That was not the pact. The agreement was these characters were special, were worth watching. It seems the WD team betrayed our faith in these characters as worthwhile, in this book as worthy of our time, in their storytelling abilities as worth experiencing. They undermined the character’s collective heroic journey, and obliterated trust that these people are worth following.

Sadly, I am not sure I can go any further with THE WALKING DEAD, in either comics or television. After Glenn, what’s the point?

I’d love to see the opinion of others. Hopefully, there is someone out there who can restore my faith in what had been an exceptional experience. What do you say? Is there an author/reader pact?

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

 

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The Dilemma of Underage Drinking

Posted on July 13, 2012 by chrisryanwrites

“Summer’s here and the time is right for dancing in the street,” –Martha and the Vandellas, Detroit, 1960’s.

“Summer’s here and the time is right for racing in the streets,” –Bruce Springsteen, back streets of Jersey, 1970’s.

“Summer’s here and the time is right for–hey, where the hell are the kids in this town?” — Me, suburbia, 2012.

My sons are 16, which was prime socialization time when I was a kid, so I expected them to be out the whole summer. And a number of elements have come together for them: a few friends have their license; they have the confidence of kids who feel like their own their neighborhood (no sarcasm there; back in the day I was sure I owned The Bronx, even though I weighed about 80 pounds soaking wet and looked like an Afro on a Tootsie Pop stick), and their social circle is growing to include a variety of groups (baseball, a group from an eastern European Holocaust tour, the XBox brigade, etc.). Add to that parents who encouraged them to hold whatever social gatherings they wanted, and it seemed they would be owning this summer.

Not so much.

A couple of guys have come over to watch sports, play XBox, and/or chow down. There have been car trips to the batting cages, a Yankee game, restaurants (most of them fast food), or snack runs. Some girls have stopped by, or collected them to go hang out, but … None of the big crowds have arrived at our house, and very few teens have been seen in town generally. What gives?

To complicate matters, the driver friends have curbed their cars after getting tickets for having more than four people in the vehicle, so activity has slowed to a crawl. Finally, I confronted my guys, pushing them to tell me why they weren’t just hosting a party to crank things up this summer. We offered the house, the deck, food, soda, music…

The fellas did NOT want to answer, but I’m Bronx Irish, and we put Rottweilers to shame when we clamp down on something. Finally, one guy shook his head, “Dad, that’s not what people think when they hear ‘party’.”

Duh on me. How could I have been so dumb? “You’re saying drinking?”

“I’m not naming anybody–”

Damn right I wanted names, and phone numbers, fingerprints, blood tests, holding pens — but no, I’m not having that conversation, I tell myself, I’m trying to understand what my sons are up against. “I’m not asking that. Just give me an idea–”

“Ninety percent.” He didn’t even hesitate, didn’t even let me finish the question. He just laid me out with a sawed off shotgun of cold truth.

I’m shocked to find I’ve sheltered myself, and so has my wife. We remained willfully ignorant of the scope of the situation. And that’s disingenuous because we both drank at 16, often. Here’s the major difference we have been clinging to: when we were 16, the drinking age was 18. Now, of course, it is three years later. But that doesn’t help. If what my son suggests is anywhere near true, they are the odd men out because they listened to their parents.

The “Just Say No” party line does not address the more subtly painful issues. I don’t want my kids ostracized, but I can’t seeing myself condoning underage drinking, no matter what I did as a kid. But the clock’s ticking on this minefield, and no matter what decision is made, somebody’s going to blow up.

They will be seniors next year, and in college after that, and will have to negotiate alcohol-infused social circles. Being inexperienced could potentially make them socially awkward at that point; allowing alcohol now could force them into situations they are not ready for and hurt their reputations. This a tough place for both kids and parents to be, period.

As much as it sucks, I have to be the Dad here and hold the line. The down side of underage drinking is too steep; too many in this country allow themselves to be programmed to believe alcohol (at least) needs to be central to their social lives. The media bludgeons us with this crass, profit over people message on all fronts, and that misleads the masses into thoroughly believing alcohol and partying is consistently a good idea. But alcohol never lead me to write my novel, or pick up an instrument, or tell a joke, or make a good decision. Alcohol did not get me to call the woman who became my wife, or help me land a job, or buy a house. Alcohol never put food on my table. Is alcohol a part of my life? Yes, I like a stout every once in awhile, and can enjoy a good bourbon. But the key phrase is “a part” not “the central part”. I’ve known too many people who made alcohol (and more) central to their lives, or let it insinuate itself into importance in their lives; way too many of them are dead or at dead ends.

I don’t want my sons to fall into that trap. They will eventually go to those parties, without our permission, and might even drink, without our permission, as is an unfortunate right of passage in this culture. I only hope they wait until they are ready and make their decisions based on their consciously developed moral backbone, rather than to fit in, or be popular, or to impress a date.

My wife and I have spent a good chunk of our lives helping our guys evolve into good men who can think on their own. Their relatively quiet summer has spoken volumes about their willingness to pay the price to be their own men. Bravo.

“You are what you do most often.” –Aristotle, Greece, way back before there was a drinking age.

Christopher Ryan is author of City of Woe, available on Kindle and Nook, and in print. For more info, click here.

 

 

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